Almost there...

Lately I feel more related, than ever before, to the Christ especially to His last moments, the Lord's prayers at Gethsemane - "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." I am overwhelmed. But I am constantly and consistently praying for strength.

This, constant and consistent communion with God, the Father, was Jesus' stronghold.

I love Jesus, the Son, God, the Father and the sweet fellowship of the Holy Spirit.

A Pure Heart

The bible says "Blessed are those with a pure heart for they will see the face of God", I often have wondered what this verse means. This is because I would love more than anything to see the face of the awesome creator.

With revelation this verse means that the people who keep an honest heart towards God, will get to see His face. Those are the people who have pledged a clear conscience towards God, all they do is checked against the will of God, at all times.

"Therefore be perfect, for even your Heavenly Father is perfect." Matthew 5verse48.

I love God and God loves me, even more.

I can feel it

Thank God for this day. It's been a while since the last time I posted. I've been caught between being swamped by shool work, business planning and worshiping the Lord. Please do not mind the order because my Lord comes first.

I can just feel the blessings that were assigned to me before the foundations of the earth just around the corner. I have been blameless, I've tried. I have, more than anything, kept a clear conscience towards God and I am confident that my blessings have now come. Let's wait and see.

I love God, but He loves me more.

Finally, after a long wait.

"I will never understand my own Father", this is the best way of understanding our heavenly Father- and it bears much less confusion opposed to the notion of wishing and hoping to understand our Creator.

What I mean is that we often sail south and north, travel east and west all in the persuit of the full description, understanding and knowledge of who God really is and how He is. If we could let our own failures and those of our predecessors define God then we would be almost there. If we could first accept the fact that the is no understanding God then we would be straight on our way to understanding God. You see understanding God totally, is the same as taking the entire universe and enclosing it in a single tin of jam. What, How and Where God is can never be comprehended by our human brains, I doubt that even the angels fully understand Him.

After a long wait I now understand God. I understand that there is no understanding Him and that automatically upgrades my awareness and wisdom. I understand that God is not guided by the same nature which guides us and that no rules can restrain Him. It is this fact exactly, of not knowing God's percept and purpose of things and situations, that makes me quick to listen but slow to talk and totally unable to judge without revelation. In you are not sure about the hand of God in it, do not touch it. I wish I could support this revelation with more biblical incidents but one that comes to mind at this instance is Peter's dream, the Lord said "...do not call, what I have made clean, unclean". Ah, thank you Father, thank you Jesus. Also, Stephen was stoned he was preaching about a new thing - from God, and was in an argument with the Cilician, Saul, who was defending the old - also from God. If perhaps these two man of God had sought after God's hand in the matter, the Gentile-Jew and the pure Jew, the end result would not have been as extreme. Considering the fact that the stoning was carried exactly according to the word of God, after the Cilian argued that Stephen was worshiping a dead man as his Jesus was hanged on a tree as the bible said it would be of anyone who comes claiming to be the messiah.

Thank you father for such a believing heart, with also a hungry mind and a thirsty soul. Thank you for the wisdom.

I love the Lord my God with all my heart, my soul and my mind. Amen.

Hallelujah

Finally, I have finished reading the New Testament. Thanks be to God. I find the Holy Bible to be the best "book" ever written. It is beyond interesting, perhaps it is interesting to those who do not yet believe. For believers it is fullfiling in everyway, for it is God. God is His Word. His Word is Him.

Now it may seem that I have been rushing to the finish line, that is true- very much so. But that is not the point, what is important is the reason- as Psycologist will tell you as they try to make you understand why they are having one-on-one sessions with prisoners, addicts or abusive individuals. "What is important is what made them do these things" - some will say. Well, what made me finish so quickly, a little more than a month, was that I was glued to the Bible all time. Meantime I have assigments which are soon due, exams around the corner and there are christian novels too, The Divine Visitor - Dr. Jack Hayford, Paul A Novel - Walter Wangerin, that were waiting on me. So why couldn't I just put off the Bible for a while then, that's the right question. First I was fascinated not by Paul's writing skills, but by the vast information and more importantly how Paul's letters are as they were addressed to the churches today. As if Paul's letters were not it enough, James came with his that made me want to read on and all along Peter was waiting for me with his chosen people, royal priesthood, holy nation belonging to God. I found myself in the scariest book, in midst of the four living creature covered in eyes and the ring of elders- all facing the throne of God. I was frightened at first, but all that left me as I became more and more vexed by the mystries therein. I honestly couldn't wait until I said "hallelujah" on this one. But it is in this book that I found comfirmation of what I believed, that we do not come into creation without registration. What I mean is that our names are written during birth - the physical. The last book reveals so. But I will first enquire about this finding before I can go any further.

God is good, all the time.

An Overwhelming Feeling

What an overwhelming feeling it was. For the first time I had to pour out the Lord's heart to the fellow children. It wasn't the message of the day but a thorough conveyance of a proper understanding of the word of God was indeed as necessary.

It was on Tuesday when I recieved the notification, that I was invited to speak on giving and offering towards to the work of God. But how could they ask me, being merely an infant. And then I thought of the eight year old king Josiah, and the young prophet Jeremiah and then the very young victor David. I knew I had no excuses left, for it wasn't even myself who was going to make effort, but the Lord who has all the power and wisdom. From there I recieved the message "Speak on thanksgiving". Accompanying the message were verses, quite sufficient they were. Yet there I was going out to look for more, trying to make myself sound eloquent and articulate. If it wasn't for the acknowlegdement to the Lord, that He himself put in my heart, I would've made a fool of myself. All the additional verses the Lord made me forget, thanks be to God. Later the Lord made me realise that there additional verses were compromising the thanksgiving message and were going to create confusion. [I spoke on offering being a device bywhich we prove true the thanks we utter out aloud, 2 Corinthians 9verse12. Now I personally wanted to include Philippians 4verse13&17- which is a different and separate message altogether, also on giving]. Thanks be to God, the Father and the Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.

I thank God for purifying and sanctifying me to the extent that I could be a medium throughwhich He could teach His children, myself included. Some of us miss or overtime we forget the significance of acknowlegding God and as a result wore out or we at times runout of things to say to God's people. But God will never runout of things to say, God will never runout of anything. We need to understand that He is, more than anything, a God of Principle.

I love God and He loves me more.

I am Spirit

I haven't posted in a long while now and I feel the need to mention why. When I post on this blog what that means is that I am happy, healthy and at peace spiritually. Now when any of the above mood factors is disturbed I come out of balance and it takes some spiritual motivation and healing before I can be in Equilibrium again. "The spirit is willing, but the body is weak" - Matthew 26verse41 [NIV]. Thus if my spirit is happy I'll be happy, the same applies with health.

I do however sometimes blog even when out of balance, but I often blab about the lost tranquility itself. So, how am I now? Well I am wonderful thank you for asking. I am growing at a way that is no more surprising than of confirmation to the fact that I have been chosen and called for a Great task. See, until recently I though that only now and for the first time am I inline with God's plan for my life. I now know that I have never been out of it, I've been living it all along. All the experience that I've gone through, my family, my friends, my personality ...everything,
has contributed to the person that I now have become. A person suitable and in good condition to stand the rain of my calling. But I will elaborate on this revelation later.

St. Paul says that what he wants to do he does not do but that which he does not want to do he does. I tell you this, when you are happy it is when you do want you want to do, when the spirit is in full control.

I am happy...because God loves me.

A day spent well

Today I just remembered a particular day I spent with my daughter. Come on I do not have a child, but my elder brother does and her name is Sihle, uHlehle ngamany' amazwi. Her father called me and told me that she was ill and that we needed to take her to the doctor, he works at Langebaanweg so that meant that I had to go and fetch her and he would catch up with us later so I did, and he did. My girl is beautiful, i took photos of her and some with myself and some with her father. There are superstitions that are hard to justify but the one of familysickness, likehomesickness, was proved real for me. Hlehle, as beautiful as she was, was honestly sick because she was just quiet and unfriendly when we picked her up- right the moment she was diagnosed of fever. She was really sick, but unfortunately the doctors were in a long meeting and they were only coming out at four in the afternoon. So we went down to eat and even there she proved ill as she didnt want to eat. Her father had bought me a slice of cake because this day was my birthday and my first as a born again believer. Even when I tried to make her eat the cake she wasnt interested. Now we were up at the peadiatric level again, waiting for the doctors and I was telling my brother how God loved me so much that He arranged that I enjoy my birthday with my family especially those I rarely saw and I missed the most, and that Hlehle was not sick but her sickness was in fact the centre of the arrangement. From that moment Hlehle was well laughing and walking around playfully that her father called into order fearing that the nurses would take her sickness lightly and stop their persuit to get her a doctor so that he also may get a letter to take back to work. Anyway my beautiful girl was not sick, thus the superstition is not real, God is.

I've been born... Again

Everything that I've experienced anew in this salvation life, with a sober conscience, I cherish so much. I remember the first outing I had as a born again believer, we went to Table Mountain, that is a memory thoroughly glued to my brain - it was the best atmosphere anyone could hike a mountain in. And then we went to the beach on the 16 December, again I was heavenly surrounded by believers. I've learnt that every moment of bliss spent sober, every minute, is a separate memory. What I mean is that in my previous life, a whole day, an event or occasion would make up a single memory. However in my new life, every moment within a day, an event or occasion makes up a single memory.

Today is the first biological birthday I'm going to enjoy. Already, I've had memories. First came sister Ncapayi to personally wish me a joyous day, and then she sent me a msg. Then my big brother called, and then my mother called. Every word each one said to me is cherished in the depths of my heart. I know today will be a lovely day. God has blessed this day in a very special way.

Today is the 19 of March 2009. The timezone settings of blog.com are appearingly different.

The Secret

I just remembered, last year I read a book titled "The Secret" - many people know its DVD. The book was about the power of "a thought". The book authors; many of them physicians and scientists and others philosophers and authors, tried to explain what a thought is and how it is powerful. They used quantum physics to explain this phenomenon -"saying that thoughs are frequencies sent out to the universe, and the universe answers to whatever thought it recieves from you". If you always think about bills, then bills it will be, in your mailbox every month end. And if you always think about success, you will be successful in the very way you always imagined yourself.

This is true, indeed when you think about good things happening to you, good things will start to happen to you. But it is not the universe. How does it then do all these things. We people are so desperate for information and wealth- believing anything we hear, read or see, but we disregard the very one at our disposal. It is God who has favour on us because it doesn't matter how far we are from Him, we[all] still are His children and He loves us and His sun shines and rain pours down to all of us [believer or nonbeliever].

And what is more pleasing is that I know that it is not the universe but God who is going to fullfil my desires and I also know why.

I'm still Born Again and Saved

Nothing much to say today, except to thank the Lord my God for the very breath I breathe and the Life of Salvation that I now "enjoy".

I remember how excited I was when I was newly born as a believer. I have grown to lose that excitement and thus entered the spiritual decline zone. So everyday I pray that God restore my excitement, in the form of zeal for His word, work and blessings. I know He does that else I wouldn't be writing in this post.

I love God and I love God, and I love God. But most importantly God loves me. I should always remember that.

How long will they wonder

I recently wrote a poem. This piece was inspired by the thought that many people the world over are happy with not knowing where they come from, or even where they are going. Most times when you see that they have been trying to supress such questions is when they are old and affraid to die. Finding answers to these questions is like finding forever, for God is forever.

Here is the peice enjoy.

A Perpetual Wonder

Amid the water wars a wave was borne

With the innate ability to move on

Now tossed and blown by the wind, another it forms

Oblivious of its father, thus to nothing it conforms

It sets on a harmonious voyage

Origins unknown likewise the end of age

Yet the wave grows and ultimately matures

Having been everywhere life seems much more

Than the aimless wandering and the liquid tours

And the wave enters a rocky shore

A swift wind carries it to its demise

All left then is the perpetual wonder

Of whether there was much else to realize

Or perhaps life was all that and no other

Only if it had known the Father

Never would there have been a lonely wander

It would have served its purpose

Like the beautiful color turquoise

It does nothing more than to be a lovely color

But many beings lose their collar

That grounds them to their meaning

And keeps them at their master’s reach

For everything with an end, someplace sits its beginning

The knowledge of the beginning has made the poor rich.

By: Loyiso Bikitsha

I'm still breathing

I have nothing much new to share, but the obvious case of a heavy cross. I wish I could take the bible and paste it in my brain. That would be useless, trust me. I would not have to crave the Word, to be in need of it, because it would be with me all the time. But I believe you need to need God all the time, in order to love Him more and feel His ever increasing love for you.


So I am still a born again believer who love Jesus Christ our Lord and my God forever. Things I have done lately and recently are not more than a spiritual poem that I wrote, titled "A Perpetual Wonder" - a very interesting peice of work. It is interesting for me because I do not know where it came from, but it is said that our God is an inspiring God. The poem will be the next post. Another thing is the interesting DVD that I watched yesterday by born again believer, a female Professor named Gail Riplinger. It was about the different bible versions and how they are different, others being the full truth and others showing influences of the antichrists in bible publishing. She was not saying that these bible versions, those with many omitted verse - "powerful verses", are demonic and christian should stop using them, but that the people altering and omitting verses in these bibles should be careful, especially those who unknowingly do so. In her 6 year bible research she was came across a lot of information, some of it being Hebrew text of the genisis found in Egypt that had patterns on them. These pattern formed names of people, their birth and death dates, city of birth and death. Names of Moses where there in the book of Genesis and even up to the 19 century. So Gail was concerned that these people could be removing their names from the Book of Life as in Revelation 22verse18-19 "18. For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book. 19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and [from] the things which are written in this book." KJV. In the NIV Bible even this verse, which states clearly the consequences of altering the word of God, is altered.

It is very important that we know these things. Yes we are led by the Holy spirit, whether things have been altered or removed the Holy Spirit will reveal them to us. But the power posses by the true words, whether altered or omitted, is important. In fact that is the very reason why the devil doesn't want us to know them. There are many verses altered and omitted in the NIV and NASB bibles and other new age bibles, as Gail refers to them. I checked almost all the verses that she pulled out and they were indeed altered or omitted. Luckily I had a Cambridge Prince James Picture Bible tranlated from the original tongues and Hebrew texts, else I would have doubted the motives of Gail and her information. I will not stop using the NIV version because of this because the message was a warning to those altering the word of God anyhow. However, I will start reading the KJV more often. Which Bible Vesion are you using, does it even matter?

God loves me, and I love God.

Utter Sanctity

Now I know I said that 07 Feb 2009 was the best day of my salvation life thus far, and that was on the 7th. I was totally correct it was, on the 7th.

Now there comes a time in this salvation way of life, when a born again believer makes it known that he/she is ready to carry the cross and follow Jesus - the pursuit of Christianity; Christianity meaning to be like Jesus Christ in all aspects of ones life. As this might look like another outward expression, a confession like the acceptance of the Lord as a personal Savior, it carries much much more weight than that. It marks an individual's decision to pay attention and attend fully all things God. Out of all the verses explaining what baptism holds, such verses are the Romans 6verse4, I am fond of Peter's version found in his first book 1 Peter 3verse21 ".., and this water sysmbolises bastism that now saves you also- not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience towards God." Here the individual requesting batism pledges that he/she is ready for full responsibility which encompass full revealations from Almighty God to the individual.

Well, I can't blame myself for not knowing that the 08th of Feb 2009 would be the best day of my Christ life. But on this day, the 08th, I pledged to God. I have been baptised and have reached Utter Sanctity. It is now upon me whether to keep myself pure or allow impurites into this now Holy Heart, Mind and Soul.

Something even more confirmative of the upgrade to Holy Holy, my previous post titled "Be Caful" - became the message of the day in our Sunday service on the 08th, from our visiting Bishop from Joburg - Bishop Zakes. I was shocked, ...but a moment later I understood.

I have entered a new level of connection. The above telephathy was not the usual mental type where two or more people think of the same thing, it serves as a signal that I have now entered the level of divine revealations. For all that has happened I would like to give thanks to the one who loves me measurelessly, the alpha and the omega, Lord of Lords - my loving living God. I love you so much.

Be Careful

Be careful what you wish for and ask for in prayer from God. You might just get it.

I say this because some people plead for things from God and then they forget and start to rule their own lives responding to the realities. God will give you the things you ask for at the specific time you requested. Well, I know some say that God gives you things when you need them. I say, if you are a Born Again believer, you will not ask from God things you do not believe in your heart that you need, else you will not have faith that He will provide because you yourself have doubt about the necessity of what you are asking for, which will diminish your motivation to even pray. The bible says in the book of James 1verse6-7 "But when he asks, he must believe and no doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown an d tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord"[NIV]. And I have not yet come across a believer in the bible who asked for something from the Almighty God and specified the time but received it at another. Take the biblical example of the story of the prophet Elijah on Mount Carmel. Elijah needed fire there and then, 'Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil and, also licked up the water in the trench."- from the book of 1 Kings 18verse38 [NIV]. In fact if God gave us things when we need them then there wouldn't be a need to pray because whenever you needed something God would just provide. We ask, we receive, as the scripture says. Therefore disciples of Christ Jesus ask for things they need. The only thing that has lead people to think that God doesn't give you something until you really need it is "lack of faith". It is written that anything we ask in the name of the Son we will receive. If at the time you are asking for it you believe enough, it is sent to you immediately and it becomes a matter of tick-tock on the clock. And the blessing will not come

until you give a specify signal of when you need it.

For example a man asks God that he wants to become a preacher, but he goes and enrolls at a tertiary institution to study Accounting. He then studies forgetting what he had believed in and requested from God. What do you think happens to that man? Does He become a preacher still, or does he become a graduate and go into the corporate world? What do you think? First think about who God is and what he has said. Jesus said that anything that you ask in the name of the Son the almighty Father will grant. Then what do you think will happens to this fellow? Let me tell you then, this fellow will either drop his studies and go straight to preaching. Or he might be in resistance and what will happen is that he will flunk and repeat, flunk and repeat until he goes back to God and does what he asked God to help him do. Note that you cannot specify a time for when God must make you a preacher because if you are under author and order within a particular ministry you will have to wait while God is making you leadership notice you and whilst he amends you to the vision he has already put into them. So for such a person patience can be tested and a pass is not guaranteed, hence the pressure to go and study. But what did he ask for, then that is what he shall receive.

First of all we can't fool God. I can't ask God for things and then go away. In fact let me first clarify what things I talk about when I say "..ask God for things..." - disciples or born again believers, should dare not ask for things from God that will not in anyway be to His glory. So these things are the things of the Lord, things to Glorify Him. So then, God gives he/she who has asked and there is no other way. I've heard believers say that when you ask God for a blessing and then you move from your level of faith to a lower point, when the Lord comes with your blessings and finds that your Faith has dropped your blessings go to other people. To that I beg to differ, I believe it is only by two ways that one doesn't receive his/her blessings; 1. You don't have enough faith, which means you are doubtful and 2. You were asking for something that wouldn't Glorify God thus you do not Love God, which means you do not believe in God - you might think you do but what you believe is that He can make things for you.

I did not mean to write this much. And I didn't even think I would write about what I've written, talk about our living God.

Yesterday, 07 Feb 2009, was the best day of my salvation life so far. Now this is what I wanted to write about. But in a very strong way it connects to what is written above. I told the Lord that I only wanted to serve the Him, to grow in knowing Him and His plans for me so that I may follow the right path. Now what I did was pray about that and I did not commit myself to anything. There is a young man, born again, named Gerat who runs Jabula Africa Ministries [None-Denominational Organization] - they travel all over Africa ministering to people. Now Gerat wanted me to join them and sign a full-time year contract. This was a good offer since he was going to pay for everything and I just had to avail myself. It sounded lovely and would definitely glorify God. What was the problem then, why didn't I take up the offer? Wasn't serving God what I had asked for? Yes,...it was, but it was not all I had asked for. So I told him I had to pray about it and I was until.... Remember I had also asked for growth in knowing Him. There are three people who are responsible for me, who are schooling me the word of God, leadership and the life of salvation. Although the Holy Spirit would have been with me at JAM, these man of God would not be there. So what does this mean. It means that when you ask something from God, specify the details and leave nothing out. And do not forget.

But like the man who wanted to become a preacher, I didn't forget but I wanted to do something else in the meantime while I patiently wait for God to answer me and there I was being persuaded by business acquaintances to join their new estate agency. What do you think happened? I think it should be obvious after all this text. Well, let me come to your rescue, God answered me. I am now the Administrator of the New Life Christian Fellowship Centre. Yes, that is true. So what about the membership offer at the estate agency? Mhh .....what about it?

God is good all the time, and

all the time God is good. I am
as overjoyed as the Maggi
when they saw the star. Thank you God.
I love you.

Table M - For the fist time.

Well, I wanted to go to the top of Table Mountain for a long time. I remember sometime last when I was checking their Cable online bookings and found out that there were none, because the cable functionality is determine by the weather on that particular day. Anyway I saw the prices but I do not know what kept me. Maybe the total price, because I was planning to go out with my then girlfriend, was out  of my budget - I can't really remember. But by the way I see things, I can stop but suspect the Lord's hand in it, who knows. Amazing things happen when you are in Christ Jesus, as soon as I was born again my first outing with my fellow brethren was an expedition to Table Mountain. Below are a few photos taken from there. They are lovely but they cannot portray enough the awesomeness and deep pleasure and sanctity of being there with believers, especially as a new being who is excited by this gift of new life. Again we are going this Saturday, but I still feel enthused about it. 

Hard Life vs New Life

Just so I may understand the power of this new life in Jesus Chirst - the Lord made me do things then, that I can only understand now. A good example is the poem I wrote while still in the darkness. It was poetical masterpiece without any spiritual value - now I understand. I cannot remember the day but on that day I decided to write a poem from begining to end without pause and the outcome was the combination of letters and characters below.

Who is there?

In times of despair

For which we cannot prepare
Capturing us in the midst of bliss
Times we hold onto firmly refusing release
We long for a helping hand
On which we can depend

Yearning for infancy resurrection

For joyful memories reincarnation

Situates in our wits
A dull question,

Who is there?

An honest answer would be everyone
Yet it always feels like there is no one
Perhaps it is not the eye looking for an entity perceptible
Nor is it the hand feeling for an object tangible
But it is the heart longing for a spiritually evident react
To reverberate curative melody
For repairing torn-apart faith restoring symphony
And that allows only for one reply

The one who begged to die      

For eternal forgiveness to you and I
When we kneel down, for our fears to elicit
It is the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

By: Loyiso Bikitsha 

First Post - New Life

Had I known that a new life meant, literally, a new everything; a new mindset, a new surrounding, a new comprehension and a series of new mysteries,  then I believe procrastination would have been a due course. Unfortunately for me this new life was not entirely a personal decision. I submitted to an inner inexplicable force that, by virtue, is the spiritual force of the person I am in relation to God. This force is the very force that makes my spiritual happiness, joy , triumph, strength, my weakness, anxiety and distress known in the geographically unknown heavenly kingdom.

I am trying to say that I am a new born baby, born in the Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ. Now I know this sounds like the best thing that could ever happen, mainly because it is, but it's also the worst thing that could ever happen to a person who is not prepared to sacrifice. What sacrifice am I talking about now? Wasn't Jesus Christ the sacrifice, in fact didn't He suffer and undergo crusifixion so that we may not sacrifice anymore or make burn offerings to God for the forgiveness of sins?Isn't that the reason He came, that no more sacrifices may be made? Maybe that was part of the reasons He came, to be a sacrifice. But believe me, to follow Him and be able to be called one of His own requires a lot of sacrifices, and because of today's acceptance of bad habits it's not easy to make them. And because of the former life mistakes that haunt me, I sometimes fall short in making my due scarifices. Only because I am a spirit operating by faith can I countinue in this journey, and faith tells me to hang in there and jost hold on.

On the other hand, this new life brings a new way of understanding, which has been a wonderful opportunity for me. The new knowledge through salvation has unlocked mysteries that were a result of living through the world of Science. Living and reasonig through the human senses: taste, feel, smell, hear and see - what about "think"? Scientists cannot to this day comprehend what constitutes a thought. Well, that[a thought] is merely a minor in this new life of mine. I now understand my arrival, stay and departure on this very Earth I was confused about. But it is very important to state that for everything that I am now, nothing I did. It was not by myown  "then" human understanding, or power or knowledge that I became but because I went to one who has been calling me for over a decade now since my death, and I said "Yes, come in and stay and make a home in my heart". To be honest I do not know what to do with my life. But what I like about this new life is exactly that, that I should forget about what I want or need to do - because that will mostly benefit my humaness and not the spirit. The Great Book, as I like to refer to it[The Holy Bible] says in the book of Matthew that we should not worry about anything but "Seek Him first" and all things desirable shall follow, Him is God the Almighty.

I am seeking God and with the knowledge that I have acquired so far I enter the domain of confusion sometimes. I do not want to excuse laziness for submittion to the Holy Spirit and to the  Word. I was never a lazy person but sometimes I feel that I am abusing this knowledge. And I see myself running back to the world and that's when I stop dead on my tracks. One thing I believe for sure is that God would never take me out of the world and then send me back running without a specific task. So now I wait and in the interim, I learn more about the Lord my God Jesus Christ. Yes many parts of the Great Book state that we should forget about former things and not dwell in the past, even to the fact that we need to understand that things we knew and possessed in our former lives are absolute rubbish in comparison to the greatness of knowing the Lord Jesus Christ. All I can say to my defence then, is that I will grow in Grace and in knowing my King and Saviour Jesus Christ- and as the Lord has made a promise to me with a verse from the book of the prophet Isiah 43verse18-21, I know He will keep it, all I need to do is believe in Him and be blameless.

What makes salvation a difficult way of life for me is the fact that I want to go somewhere with it, it's my vision that is making it a mountain too steep to climb. But it's the devil that is fighting me for it knows where I am destines, less than the One who predestined me, and now the devil is scared of what I am meant to become. Great is He who is within me than the devil in the world and I will continue to fight a good fight like the Saint Paul.

I pray dearly that all people in the world may seek the Lord in their lives. I share God's Love for me to all who do not know Him. This is why I am saved.

May the Lord God forgive me for the sins of today, and the bad thoughts that have come into my mind in Jesus Christ's name. Amen. 

God's Love is Life.